Isabella's Testimony: Finding Trust In A World of Unknowns

Hello, friends! Like Lily said a while back, a few of us decided to share our testimonies, and how COVID-19 has impacted them. One thing that I love about hearing other people’s testimonies is that God’s handiwork is laid out in front of you. You can clearly see his sovereignty, and his control. Sanctification is a powerful tool, friends! So my hope is that when you read this, you won’t just see an average story of a girl who follows Jesus, but that you will see my Creator, and the work that He has done in my life.

I grew up in a Christian home, going to church every Sunday. During my early years, I didn’t really have an interest or desire for the Bible. I’m sure my parents realized this, but they continued to present it to me anyways. Around the time I turned six, the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to the truth. Suddenly, I wanted to do what God said was right. I wanted to know Him. And even though I was young, even though I was incapable of so much, I was saved. I distinctly remember a change coming over me. It’s actually one of the only things I remember about that time. I’m so glad that I do!

For several years, I continued growing in my love and passion for Christ. And while I made shopping-list type prayers every night before bed, I wasn’t actually handing things over to the Lord and trusting Him with them. I basically laid my problems at His feet while I told Him about them, and then said amen, picking them back up quickly. I grew in a desire to be in control, to always have a plan, to always know what was going on. 

Fast-forward a bit, and I entered the 5th grade. Anyone who has been through the 5th and 6th grades can tell you that those years are full of petty dramas. And while we look back and wonder how such small misunderstandings affected us so much, we can’t deny that they were painful to go through in the moment. During that year, I had to learn to lean on Jesus in a deeper way. I learned that he is the only friend that will never leave me, and I saw with fresh eyes just how dependent I was on him. 

About a year later, I ended up with a broken arm, at a really inconvenient time. I was at a dance convention, and I had been waiting for years to go. This convention is basically all the best things about a youth retreat and the best things about a dance convention mixed. It’s the most amazing weekend! When I was injured, a lot of unknowns were placed before me. Would I have to go home? Could I still dance? Would I have to have surgery? How bad was the break? You get the point. And as someone who had an intense “need” to know what was going on and have a plan, that was extremely scary. When we did get home, I ended up in a huge cast for about six weeks. I came out of that experience so much stronger, because I had learned how to trust God with unknowns.

To be honest, my quarantine experience has been very average. I haven’t gotten sick. Nobody I know has gotten sick. Being stuck in my house has been a bit of a nightmare. Even though I’m an introvert, being separated from my friends was very hard. Loneliness was something that I had to combat every single day. Looking back on that time, I really wish I had remembered what I had learned from both of the experiences that I’ve shared! I told myself that I had to trust God, but I didn’t really give it over to him. I worried constantly about my friends, my grandparents, and practically everyone I’ve ever met.  

Friends, worry is a cruel master. Once it has control over you, it can be oh-so-hard to break free. But Jesus tells us in John 14:1 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in Me.” Note that the first part is a command: “Let not your hearts be troubled.” Jesus doesn’t tell us to “Hope for the best,” or “Don’t stress about it too much,” He tells us not to be troubled. How can this be accomplished? Jesus tells us without hesitation: “Believe in God, believe also in me.” He’s telling us to trust Him. Worrying is, frankly, a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything, fix anything, or make the world better. It simply wears on you! Trust is such a valuable thing. Whatever you’re worrying about today, please give it to Him! Once you do, you’ll feel so much better.

Life began to go back to normal this June, in my area. I’ve been able to see my friends again, which was great! Even though things feel more normal, I still have to trust God. There are things that I can’t control, things that I don’t know, and I can’t always have a plan. That’s always going to be the case. But I can tell you truthfully that it’s okay, because I have a Savior who is holding it all in his hands. And so do you!